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My research began a long time ago. When I was a kid I was curious about the bizarre wedding ritual. As an adult I brushed by a meaning here or there. I worked in a bridal shop in my early twenties, and also a tuxedo shop. With each bride I dealt with it saddened me about how they really believed they had to get married "this" way. By "this" way I mean in the overly done heavy on all the traditions cookie cutter wedding. My husband calls them "dog and pony" shows. I loved when a bride would whisper to me "is it ok if I wear white?" I would whisper back "are you being sacrificed?" The look on each brides face with that conversation was priceless. They really thought they must be a virgin to wear white on their wedding day. Ah how old tales get twisted.

When my husband and I were planning to get married I dove into learning about the whole concept of all wedding traditions. I refused to be caught up in the madness, and to avoid any annoying person asking why aren't you doing it that way, I wished to make sure I was backed by solid awareness, something I knew they would not be backed by!

I soon realized what a wedding really was about, and began to build my plan. I considered doing our wedding at the local Renaissance Fair in Pennsylvania, but there were some hassles to it, that I preferred not to be bothered by. A dozen ideas later, I had decided on a really cool local restaurant, The Air Transport Command. Chad had been in the Air Force, so the landing planes and the restaurant theme I felt would be perfect. Best yet, unlike getting married in some boring hall, there was no overhead fee, no table, chair, napkin, plate, utensils, glassware, etc.. etc.. fees! You simply paid for the food. We planned to have our wedding there, and guests could just dig in after the "ceremony". No traveling from point A to point B, and no lag time, that is so annoying. The food is much, much better, and just everything about it would be perfect. I would not have to pay for floral arrangements, cause they always had plants and flowers there, so it was that simple. I tossed the idea when my parents refused to attend. Short and simply, my mother did not want to leave her parrot alone, and when the bird escaped she still had some lame excuse. I was rather upset by that, still am. I felt it would be better to scrap the idea at that point and just Chad & I go away and get married. This we did.

Going away to get married, well I thought about a lighthouse in Maine, which would have been my ideal, but I had a hard time trying to pull that together. There were other places we considered. We went with the Pocono's. It worked out nice, it was sweet, simple, and relaxing. Ah yes, how simple that is relaxing, as a wedding really should be. They arranged everything, flowers, cake, champagne, the mayor and they picked us up and brought us to the site. I did make my own bouquet, I will have to add photos of that on my wedding page. I really wanted to get married by this gorgeous stream that was on the grounds, but there was a cliff going to that stream that the  mayor was unable to make it down to. What more than made up for that, was the comfortable, relaxing day and the incredible vows the Mayor used. I plan to renew our vows at a lighthouse one day, I think that would be beautiful.

Have you ever noticed the most memorable weddings are the ones that break tradition?

Think about it, what makes a wedding memorable certainly isn't having a cookie cutter wedding, and throwing every tradition in it cause either you think it is required, or you think it would be a "good" idea. The main thing to remember is the wedding is you and the person you are marrying. That is right, it is not your parents, his parents, your friends, his friends, etc etc... A wedding should be something enjoyable and fun. If we were to be following tradition the groom would be paid to take the burden of a daughter off the parents' hands (hence why the parents' of the bride have customarily paid for the wedding). Or the groom would be kidnapping the bride and hiding her till no one is looking for her anymore.

You need not go and buy an over priced, poorly made garment, that will be worn only one day. Sure you may consider if you have a daughter of your own that some day she may wear it. That is nice and theory and thought, but that is about as far as that concept goes. If you choose to go "trendy" that whole idea is out the door. Really go take a look at past trends and you will see how crazy that might be. If you wish for something to be timeless, think about timeless, what is that? The whole white gown concept has not been around a terribly long time, and the big poufy gowns are really a result of the (nineteen) fifties. Sure you could go with the Victorian concept that you are likely thinking of when you think of the concept of "timeless". That is if you want a "Victorian style" wedding. So don't do this unless you really want to, do not do it cause you think that is how it must be!

Cakes, ahh here is a wonderful market! What started out as a pile of baked goods became and overpriced confection, thanks to the French! So if you want tradition ace the overpriced cake and go with a pile of baked goods! Now there is something people WILL remember!

Garter, bouquet, and so on. Well read what I have about things to throw! Thankfully people forgot this whole idea, though it got buried under and bizarre strip show of one unused article of clothing! Anything on the bride was considered lucky so she was ripped to shreds! The neat thing was how the brides over time worked around this. Literally ribbon-ing their clothing so they could throw "ribbons" at the crowd so she could escape. Of course the one cool thing I have seen is the break-away-bouquets. These actually break apart in the air before anyone grabs them. The other neat thing is the little charms that have meaning that are attached to the individual bouquets. This is a neat carry-over of all the meanings in a wedding, rather all the superstitions in a wedding. Check the bottom of my wedding links page, Pink Moon Creations has Cake Pulls, which can be obviously used in the cake as well. The newer tradition has these baked in the cake with the ribbons hanging out, the bridesmaids pull the ribbons out of the cake to get a charm. This is one of the neatest and nicest "traditions" if have seen. It carries some of the superstition with it, plus, a nice way for you to cancel out some of the other bizarre customs that are done. A nice touch would be to do meaning scrolls for all the guests explaining the meaning behind what this is replacing. Contact me if you would like some help with the idea, I would be thrilled to help.

Here is what the Pink Moon Creations Wedding Charms set includes, with each meaning:

• Entangled Hearts -Everlasting Love
• Baby Bottle - Blessed with Children.
• Pacifier – Next to have a Baby.
• Airplane - You'll be well traveled.
• Ring - Married Soon.
• Horseshoe - Lucky in Love.
• Wishing Well - Wish for True Love.
• Frame - Happy Marriage
• Flower - Blooming Romance
• Dollar Sign - Prosperity And Wealth

Now I am certainly not insulting the concept of "traditional" weddings, just the concept of calling it a "traditional" wedding. The problem I see is how people really are simply not sure what the traditions are, or what they mean, and why on earth they are even doing them. I am hoping to clear that up a little here. I rather get ill when I go to a wedding and I watch them do a dog and pony show, and have no idea what they are doing, they are just simply doing it cause they thought they had to.

Do check out the traditions I have here, you will find it most fascinating what and why things have been done, and find it insane and absurd in most cases that people still observe these "traditions".

Weddings can be so much fun and so memorable if you do what really truly makes you happy. Make your own traditions, make it memorable, not regrettable!

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